REVIEW: Alita: Battle Angel

The Plot: A cyber-doctor finds a cyborg head with a living brain at the local dump. He brings her home, gives her a cyber-body, and wakes her up. She has amnesia. Over the course of the movie, she has adventures and begins to recover old skills and memories.
The Background: 29 years ago, Battle Angel Alita was released as a comic book in Japan. The non-deluxe English version runs to 9 collected volumes. There’s a lot of story there, folks.

The Good:
1. The CGI. Great Cthulhu, the CGI. This movie was beautiful, seamless, and I could always tell what was going on.
2. The acting. The cast was ridiculously good.
(Something I personally liked: They used the phrase “panzer kunst”. Old school fans know what I’m talking about.)

The Bad:
1. Captain Exposition. Normally, I’m a little forgiving of clunky explanations in a sci-fi movie, but this happened a lot. Possibly due to:
2. The over-stuffed plot. Remember when I said the comic book ran to 9 collected volumes? Well, they smashed volumes 1-4 into a 2-hour movie. It ran like an extended trailer for a really cool TV show. At least 2 seasons worth.

The Ugly:
“Hey, it’s not Asian Erasure if hire a couple of Asians and give them minimal dialogue that has nothing to do with the main story!”
Fuck you again Hollywood.

Final Conclusions:
I honestly don’t feel too bad about seeing this movie, but that could be because we paid matinee price. While the cast and director were worth taking a chance on, still . . .  
Still, Mike is out almost $20 for the world’s best commercial for a 29-year old comic book. (Which was good! I really liked it! No shade on the comic book!)
So, uh, I dunno what my final conclusions are. But hopefully you find this review informative, or helpful, or something. Hopefully. If not . . . Sorry?

Until next time, folks, I salute you!

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